Our Anniversary...Number 5

Man o' Man....today Amanda and I are celebrating our 5th Anniversary. What is it about years that are multiples of 5 that mean so much more? Today, it seems as if we have accomplished our first "milestone" and we will have to wait another 5 years before we hit another. Crazy huh? I do know one thing and one this for sure, I love Amanda more today than I ever have before! She has been such a blessing to me in so many ways, and I really don't like thinking about not having her! I can remember saying 5 years ago (maybe even 3 years ago), if something were to happen to her (God forbid) that I could make it! And I know now if I could, but I know now that I don't want to have to face that day! My life is so much more complete with her in it, and my days have so much more purpose because I share them with her. I cannot not imagine where I would be if I had not met and married Amanda!!

You know, God has a distinct way of working in a persons life, and I know that he gave me a gift in Amanda that I needed. I can remember being really arrogant, confident, and overbearing (probably the best description) when we first married. Everything was my way and there were no excuses for it not being done that way. Our days were filled with arguments, disagreements, and hurt feelings (mostly me hurting hers)...to be honest we were both miserable. But, I will have to say she was more miserable than I, because I was in control! Then something happened, a day that I will never forget (not going into details, but just know it shook me and my life to the point of understanding what was going on), from that day I knew that what I had was a gift and she was something I was blessed with and I needed to realize that and learn how to treat this precious gift! I tried to automatically fix everything before, and no argument was over until I felt as if I had won, when all along I was loosing the battle...until this day! From this day on I have looked at our relationship as something that I have to help maintain, and that my purpose in it is to make sure that I am leaving no room for any question, any question about why we were doing what we were doing (as a married couple)! I have become closer to God during this process, I have learned from Amanda that I don't always have to be in control, and that has helped my relationship with God, and in turn helped the way I view our (mine and Amanda's) relationship too! It's amazing how God can use such a small unassuming, loving, and genuine person to tear down the walls, peel off the layers, and bring someone (like me) to understand what I was doing and how I needed to change! If it had not been for the true love I had for her and love I had for God I don't think I could have ever changed. On the outside I looked the part (as much as an extremely obese person could...and by the way I don't think I would have ever lost over 130lbs had I not married Amanda, not because she wanted or made me do it, because she married me fat, but because she along with God helped change who I was and what I was living for) and everyone knew that I was a good guy, and I was, but I was not being the husband I needed to be. You see I had bought in to this facade that I was doing what I should have been doing and that I was always right....but she made me realize, not that I had been wrong all the time but that I simply did not have to always be right. She made me understand to leave room for God to work and I am grateful for that!!

Sorry chasing that rabbit! I have a lot to be thankful for none of which are more important that my relationship with God Almighty, but I will have to say that I Corinthians 15:10 has come to my mind as I have been writing.... ,"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me." I know God's Grace works in many different ways and I am sure it was by his grace that he gave me Amanda and I am thankful for that, not to mention (most important) that his grace gave me life....and that makes me who I am!! I want to be known as a Christian Man, Husband, Dad, and Friend!! Thank you God for giving me Amanda and thank you Amanda for loving me!!

Sufficiently Supplied by God's Grace- Nick